<img src="images/bedroom.png" width=900 height=500>
The morning is bright and the summer breeze outside is hot and humid. The air is filled with the musical glee of chattering cicadas and buzzing busy bees, and the stubborn sounds of ''click-click-click'' and //taka-taka-taka// on the keyboard and mouse that fill the space of the medium-sized bedroom. Cerese sits on the soft, plush bed torturing the poor electronic device resting on her lap. The hooting and hollering escaping into the headset resting on black hair is distracting, and frankly grating on one's ears, but the laughter persists until she suddenly huffs in distaste.
"Oh, come on!" Cerese exclaims dejectedly. "I //had// that, there's no way someone ''lower than me'' killed me so easily!" Despite it all, her friends agree but lacked energy in response, "one more match, we got this." Cerese says, determination embeded in her words.
[[Slow and steady typically wins the race. With strategy on your side, there's nothing you //can't// do! -> Easy does it]]
[[There's no way they wouldn't be able to handle a full-on offense! Charge! -> Brawns Beats Brains]]
[[Uh oh! Your friends are looking pretty bent out of shape. With no team, there's no //you//. -> A Helping Hand]]Sometimes the easy way doesn't necessarily //look// easy. While it's good that Cerese decided to put her mind to the task, the headthrobbing, excruciating pain of idleness was killing her. So, ultimately, she decided to change her plan. Sometimes being the brains of the group is pretty boring.
What now?Hah! Who says that brains is better than brawns? No one, that's who! Cerese managed to pull her team along, securing the decisive win of the match. It was pretty nerve-wracking, the teamfights and in-between clashes definitely did a number on Cerese's armor. The heavy sigh, yet full of triumph escapes Cerese when she finally closes the game, the chatter of her friends fill her mind as she remained quiet.
Despite having fun, Cerese felt ... //empty//. Like the weight of lead rested on her shoulders in the most uncomfortable ways possible. Heavy and sluggish in movement, she figures that it's time to get up and stretch, but even thinking about that makes for a rather displeased groan in response. While the talk of her friends become nothing but white noise in the back of her mind, her eyes wander aimlessly across her room. Nothing of interest really strikes her fancy.
"Hey guys, I'll be right back. Gonna take a [[small walk -> Stepping Away]] around the house." Cerese chimes in.The team is in tip-top shape. But because Cerese focused so heavily on keeping her team alive, they had to give up a large amount of ground they covered. As a result, the loud pings of enemy forces made it well-known that their numbers were increasing by the passing minutes. It's good to help the team, but it seems like Cerese gave up their lead and put them in a compromising situation.With the sensation of gravity tugging on her limbs, Cerese gets out of bed after slipping her headset off. With the small, muttering sounds of now distant laughter from the [[call ->her friends]] with her friends, Cerese raises her hands above her head. Straining in place as she stretched, she could feel tense muscles loosening ever so slightly. Like a creaky faucet ready to spill over, her back pops like the cork of a freshly opened wine bottle. Cerese feels better, somewhat, and wonders what she can actually do on this self-proclaimed "walk around the house."
Her room is dark like the starless night sky, chalked up to the persistent work of her [[black-out curtains -> Curtains]]. Stepping through her room would be like walking through a minefield, never knowing what is in one's path and only ever leaving it up to prayer that whatever lurked in the darkness wasn't something important. [[Flicking the light on would be sound advice -> Lights]].Cerese silently thanks her past self for that well determined purchase she made months prior, all the sleep she's managed to get did wonders for fixing her ruined sleep schedule. Plus, it helped for some neat movie "nights" and scary game sessions. It's also helped with cooling the once scorching oven her room was, being greeted every morning with the rising sun //sounds// nice. Until it hits you in the eyes every waking day. But sometimes it does get in the way of writing songs and clean up, so maybe Cerese should make her way to the [[lights -> Lights]] right now.The blinding light shines through the large ceiling fan above Cerese's bed, the soft, whirlwind of air from her fan is relaxing. Like a gentle song that plays in her currently muddled mind, it's no surprise that when she gets a good look at her surroundings. The sight of her most prized possession comes into view: an acoustic guitar that has seen years in it's time, there are aged scratches on the body of the wooden instrument that leans against her dresser. The markings of once prestine designs are also faded at the edges, like the weathered hem of an old shirt with it's threading coming undone, Cerese smiles softly at the sight of it. The stickers plastered on the [[dark brown guitar -> Guitar]] holding memories of past excursions. "I got this guitar for my [[tenth birthday ->tenth birthday]] ..." Cerese mumbles, thinking back on the day. "Dad was pretty bad at hiding the surprise, he always did get excited for others than his own surprises." When she touches the cool body of the guitar, she can feel the rough, [[splintered cuts ->wood]] in the wood. "Saber would always sit at my feet whenever I played, too, even if I //did// play pretty horribly." Saber, her loving dog, always sat at her feet. Sometimes the fluffy hair of her cuddly Pyrenees dog would tickle her to no end, and yet she put up with it whenever she noticed him doze off.
"Saber..." Cerese wistfully says under her breath. "I should go check up on the old dog, I haven't seen him all morning. He must be sleeping [[as usual -> The Hallway]], poor thing doesn't move like he used to!" The house feels colder as she steps out, as if the room Cerese just stepped out of prior wasn't cold enough. She absentmindely thanks that despite the pleasant undertones of cool air ventilating in her room, the outside world is just on the other side of her window. The summer sun itself would give her a warming touch upon her return.
The numerous doors that line the hallway were all a blank white, even after living here for so many years: five to be exact. This space never truly felt like ''home''. Whatever home decided to be to her. There was no purpose in decorating the exposed side of her bedroom door, and others, in a way, agreed albeit in silent tandem. Walking through the house, this space, always felt daunting, hearing every thud against the matted, dirty brown carpet. The absent minded drops that would occasionally leak through the ceiling in the corner of the corridor staining the carpet. Sometimes this hallway smelled musty. Other times it felt [[too bare -> Doors]].But just outside Cerese's door, directly opposite, in fact. Was her parents' room, she could [[knock -> Knock-Knock]] to see if anyone was alive in there. Or she can stick to her original plan and [[go -> Living Room]] check up on Saber, she had all the time in the world to do both, but she pondered which one held her interest more.The knock is hollow against the wooden door, but upon pressing her ear to it. Cerese closed her eyes and listened intently, as if fishing for any sort of sound that can be heard from the other side. If there was, she'd move along; however, as she listened, Cerese focused on the muddled sound of a fan, it's whirling blades powered by the beauty of electricity accompanied it with a low hum. There's no shifting or long movements, either. It doesn't sound like anyone is in the room, but she knows that her parents wouldn't leave the fan on after all the complaints about the electric. [[Her father is probably napping -> Living Room]].<img src="images/living_room.png" width=900 height=500>
Once feet step onto the cold, white floor tiles of the foyer. Cerese looked out over the expanse of their living room, brown couches and loveseats decorate the area in suffocating silence. From the darkness of her bedroom and the stuffy, musty surroundings of the hallway. The living room is flooded with the purity of sunlight, it's enough to make one squint in response.
The [[red door-> red door]] she stand by is in sight first. Until she's off looking in another [[direction -> shoes]] in her search.
"Now where can that old dog be..." with hands on her hips, she calls out her fluffy companion's name. [["Saber!" -> A Good Boy]]There's a low, tired huff that responds to the call. It's no surprise to find Saber resting on the floor, splayed out contently against the oddly well-kept living room carpet. It was ticklish against Cerese's feet in the manner of far too soft fabric and too bare feet to enjoy it. "There you are," she says as she bounds the short corner, "sunbathing?" it sounds less like a question and more like a suggestion when Cerese spots him, he always did enjoy this spot second to her room. But nowadays Saber could only manage to make his way here, unless Cerese made the effort to carry him to the sanctuary of her equally soft bed.
"You must be tired like always huh, buddy?" When her hand reaches out, she [[pets ->Pet Saber]] him gently as if the friction of her touch alone could otherwise hurt him. There's no telling what could happen with the old dog, sometimes she wished this part of life's cycle didn't exist.
Her train of thought leaves her when she spots a familiar, worn toy not too far from them. With a smile on Cerese's face, she reached for it, feeling the hard, sharp, and matted fur from the years of dirt and drool clinging to it's synthetic fur under her fingers. "[[Wanna play, bud? -> Play with Saber]]."Carefully, Cerese places her hand on Saber's head. The way his eyes crease in response to the pleasant gesture is enough to allow him some comfort. In a show of contentment, his eyes close as the sound of his tail thumping against the carpet is heard in dull thuds. Hot air escapes his nostrils in a huff as her gentle digits eventually begin to scratch under his ear. //What a good boy you are//, Cerese thinks to herself. Maybe she can try and motivate her fluffy companion over to his [[bed -> Goodnight Saber]]?When Cerese wiggles the old toy in hand, the smile that's takes hold of her features is meek and hopeful. "What about it, wanna play a small game of catch?" She inquires, the tone in her voice is gentle like a lullaby with warm akin to a gentle campfire. "Here, go fetch." She adds, tossing the raggedy old toy a short distance from them. It gains Saber's attention, but it's all for naught when all he does is groan before rolling onto his side. The sight of it morphs what once was hopefulness to that of melancholy. "[[Too tired -> Goodnight Saber]]?" She finally asks, the question alone felt heavy on her tongue, reluctant to escape. But spoken into existence nonetheless."Come, let's get you into the coziest dog bed ever!" Cerese babbles playfully, the crack in her facade spoke so many silent words as she watched Saber lay limply. "come on, boy. I know you got it in you, can you do it for me?" inquiring softly, her hand cupping the side of his face. The warmth on his fur is comforting in its own way, it tells her that he's still here, //with her// and safe. But the small white noise in the back of her mind tugs on her composure, undoing the stitches and comments in low whispers [[//but for how long// -> See you later Saber]]?
But when Cerese gets up to crawl away, Saber seems to lift his head to watch her intently. Making her way over to the corner of the living room, Cerese plops down onto the carpet once more and pats it, the dog hair and stray cotton puffs float in the air. "Come on, think you can make it over here? It's a short walk," Cerese starts, "you got this, buddy."
It takes some time and the utmost patience, but Saber finally manages to get up with a shake of his legs. Wobbly like an unsteady beam until he manages to steady himself before trudging over. There's a stutter in place but with encouragement, Saber arrives at his destination and unceremoniously plops down on his dog bed. Resting his head on Cerese's hand. A smile lights up on her face before Cerese leans down to press a [[kiss -> See you later Saber]] on the top of his head.Part of her mind tells her to stay longer, so she does, her friends can wait, can't they? Regardless of whatever comment they throw at her, Saber is far more important. So Cerese shifts on the floor, laying down with her head tucked against Saber's neck, the smell of lavender clung to the soft fur. Over time it had become her favorite scent, every time, it reminded her of the havoc bathtime would enact. Fun times, but times full of shocked squeals of laughter and soaked-to-the-bone looks from both owner and dog alike. "You were such a troublemaker." Cerese laughs, "though, I think that's just because of your owner. [[Don't you think -> Goodbye]]?" As time passes, Cerese wonders how long she's laid with Saber. Her head against him, feeling the slow rise and fall of his ribcage as if it was her lifeline. She should get up and leave, should go back to her room and clear her mind about the harsh, heavy reality life exists in and come back later. They could watch a movie together before bed, as if some silent promise being made, Cerese lifts her head to look at her dog, "rest up, okay, Saber? I'll see you later, I love you."
Part of her wants to stay longer, [[should she -> Stay longer]]? But she knows that he has to rest, his old age was like a leaky battery. The charge would take a long time, but once he has enough energy pocketed, he was raring to go. Cerese thinks, [[//I shouldn't get in the way of that// -> Go back to your room]].Staying longer just felt right to Cerese. So she remained at his side, fingers toying with the strays threads of the bed as she occupied her mind. For a house typically so full of life and noise, it was bare, too silent, much like a graveyard in the dead of night. Not even a cricket or buzzing cicada to fill the dead silence of the house. It felt just as cold as the tips of her fingers when left idle for too long, so to chase away the thoughts that would surely affect her, Cerese rolls over to face Saber entirely rather than his side.
Her hand ruffling up his fur as she continued to stare off into space. On second thought, she should leave now. [[Saber seems too tired to respond-> Go back to your room]].The walk back to her room felt excruciatingly long. As if there was some spel that made the hallway longer than it normally was, or perhaps akin to that of a treadmill, walking but getting [[nowhere -> Sinking feeling]] against the moving belt.When she finally makes it through the door, it barely felt like a victory. From stepping out of the pure light of living room and delving deep into the haven of her bedroom. Cerese could only sigh before dragging herself to her bed after flicking the lights off, darkness washing over the expanse of her space instantly. It feels cruel to leave her friends hanging for longer than she intended. [[So she slips her headset back on ->Hi]]."Hey guys, I'm back, sorry about that. I was with Saber." The entry is curt when Cerese speaks, walled in and restrained.
She is greeted with meek responses, as if they already knew the circumstance the moment Saber was mentioned, "I'm fine, he's old after all. The old dog is just taking another nap as usual." she adds to her thoughts, "he'll be okay."
She thinks back on Saber's behavior before she returned to her room. The way he was sluggish and woobly while walking, he always did have a limp because of that past surgery he had on his hind leg. That was nothing new, in fact, it was a common response when he got up after sleeping for a while. "[[Yeah, he'll be okay ->He will]]."(force-input-box:"=XXX=","He'll be okay.") [[right?-> He'll be okay]]The room grows eerily colder. A sign that the day is almost over and that she's been sufficiently distracted like she had hoped. So with a farewell to her friends, she's logging off her computer for the evening and ultimately decides that food beckons her with a low growl of her stomach.
The hallway seems shorter now, much too short, like it was a race to some place. But that could also just be Cerese's overactive imagination, she thinks that things are fine. No, things //are// fine. [Nothing's happening]<cl1|.
(click: ?cl1)[Something's happening.]<cl1|
(click: ?cl1)["Saber?"]
[["Are you okay?" ->Saber?]] Limp and unmoving, Cerese spots Saber where he was last tucked in. On his bed and snug against the plush cushions. "Hey, buddy, wanna watch a movie while we eat?" The callout is unsure and wavering. She can't recall how long she's stood there, like time had stopped but the world around them continued to turn ever so slowly. Like the ticking of an imaginary clock forever ingraned in the depths of her mind. [["Saber?" ->Wake up]]"Quit fooling around, Saber. You're scaring me." Cerese says as she stalked over, after if she was lying in wait for the moment Saber might strike. "You know I always hated when you'd sit still and wait for me to get closer to pounce." She reminds him, for a moment, like a flicker of light, Cerese thinks it's just that.
Until he doesn't move when she stands before him.
(text-style:"fade-in-out")["Saber, I don't like this joke anymore."]
Kneeling down quickly after no response, she pressed her hand against Saber's ribcage. Waiting patiently, praying silently, and hoping wholly that it was just a stutter in his breathing.
[[Yet that stutter of life never came. -> Come back to me]]"No... no, no, no. Please, not yet. Saber?" Cerese chokes out, "come back to me, please, I'm not ready!" The tears at pool on her lashes spill with every blink, like spouts of water leaking from the cracks of a dam. Cerese hiccups with a whine before she's patting his ribs, "Saber, I'm not ready for you to go, you can't just leave- I need you."
Not even a passing breath escaped him, no blink or twitch to signal that he's present, that he hears her. There's no huff and puff, there's no tail wag or whine at the sight of her tears. [[She's alone -> Don't leave me]].It's painful when the yell rips from her throat. Torn to shreds in a shrill, pained cry, "''Dad!!''" Cerese cried out, pulling Saber into her lap. Trying to find purchase in anything she could hold, his face and the way it weighs in her hands. His body and how it's limp against her, conforming to the hills of her lap, "''//Dad!//''" Cerese cried out again as hot rivers spill down her face.
It's quick and distant, but the vague sounds of a door swinging open with a harsh thud against the wall is heard. With heavy feet pacing quickly, there's only a tired, startled voice saying //what, what's wrong?//.
"It's Saber, dad, Saber's not breathing." Cerese gasps out between strangled breaths, "he's not answering, [[he's not moving- ->Help me]]" "Oh, honey..." Her father says, even his voice wavers when he walks over. "We're gonna cover him up, okay?" His hands are reaching for Cerese's, "We'll bundle him up, nice and warm..." he says reassuringly, "he's okay now, baby. Saber's okay."
"But he's not //here!//" She yells, "he's not ''here''. He's not with me!"
"Breathe, Cerese." Her father replies. "Can you do that?"
Truth be told, her heart felt like it was breaking. That at any moment if she moved, her limbs would give out, if she walked another step further she'd be plunged into a torrent. There was a hurricane in her heart, a tempest that sought for the one thing that kept the seas at peace. [[Yet there was no purchase to be found.-> Help him]] She doesn't know how much time as passed since her cries have quelled. Cerese doesn't know how long it took for the cremation services to arrive with their condolences before taking Saber away. She refused to go, she had said her goodbyes. But she remained seated in the corner of the living room, suffocating in the silence and stillness of the house. Abandoned in some way to the lack of life, tear stains streaked her fair complexion and wonders if she'll wake up any time soon.
[[She hopes she does ->A Pair of Paws]]Seconds to minutes, and minutes to hours. Time had escaped her and the hungry she felt hours ago was reduced to nothingness, the growl that she was meant to quell grew silent. Then the heaviness in her head throbbed with an ache that feels like it's been there for years. Like an old friend returning from a trip, she could feel each pulse in her head, the heat of her forehead causing discomfort and yet. Cerese didn't move, not until the sharp, sudden sound of a doorbell rang.
"Dad..." Cerese gasps out, moving quickly, but the gravity of what was behind the door was obvious. It was looming, and dark, far too scared to open it, Cerese stood there. Staring at the details of the door as if they were foreign, unknown scriptures.
(text-style:"blink")[Knock ]
(text-style:"blink")[Knock knock]
"Hi." She says when faced with her father's forlorn expression.
"Here," he replies, and it's a small beige box, wood and design like a small treasure chest. The braces are a cool black, the little bolts decorating the metal.
"Hi, Saber." Cerese finally says, she looks at the small emblem in front. The latch keeping it shut is engraved with a pair of paws. "[[Welcome home. ->Credits]]""A Pair of Paws"
Written by Daniella Santiago
In loving memory of Max (2005-2018)
Even after 3 years, you've never left my side.Cerese wasn't often the type to make friends face-to-face, finding the task increasingly difficult over the years upon moving to a brand new state. The "new girl" treatment sucked and left her feeling more alienated than welcomed. So she found a rather odd bunch of people through her favorite MOBA game and since, they've been as thick as thieves, well, save for the times they've had a yelling match over the game itself a few times. But they definitely always outweighed the bad in most cases, she feels lucky to have them.//Typically, they were supposed to sunny days, birthdays, that is. They're supposed to be nice and inviting and kind for the birthday kid, but on Cerese's birthday it was cold and stormy, the plans they had were all ruined in her mind, the party favors and snacks were all for naught now that the party was, in a way , canceled. No friends and family coming to wish her happy birthday and no one to share all this food with. Well, save for Saber but her mother always said human food was bad for dogs, so that was out of the question too.
The thought of it was enough to move her to tears and Cerese couldn't quite contain the sadness that came with the thought of yet another bad birthday this year. But she sucks in her tears the moment she hears a knock on her door and the voice of her father on the other side, "go away.." she only replies as she curls up against the soft fur of her furry companion. It was the only comfort to her right now, so why disturb that? Her father seemed pretty persistent though, with another knock before entering her room with a little too big case on his back.
"What..." Cerese mumbles in awe at it, "what the heck is that?" She asks, Saber was in equal measure of curiosity at the sight of it. Like two kids seeing a big, possible present and feeling excitement at finding out what it is.////It was her very first day of high school in a brand new state. Talk about awkward vibes and unsure glances towards everything, and on top of that, she was completely and utterly lost in this school. Even when she stands in the middle of its campus, Cerese struggled at locating the building numbers indicating exactly which building was which! One was for science ... that went easy enough after wandering for about 30 minutes, talk about embarrassing too. The fact that they didn't show her to her first class at least sucked, too! But now, she's looking for the performing arts department, the building specifically for band and choir.
With her guitar strapped to her back, there was definitely no way she'd give up. Her passion was far more potent than the lingering anxiety of seeming weird to the other passing students. Some have even helped pointing her in the right direction. It was only a matter of minutes till she makes her way there!
"So, new girl, huh?" One of the students say, the band room filled with a cocophany of clashing sounds, none of it sounded good or right in any way. "Well, this is the band room, a lot of the students here are pretty cool. So hopefully, you make a friend or two around here, you're gonna need it." That statement alone concerned her, she didn't **have** to make friends with people at the school, right? Sure, it'd be nice but why would she **need** it?
"Uh, yeah thanks. I'll think about it." She replied awkwardly, gripping the strap to her guitar case, she really wished she could have Saber around. He always made these situations better, but she always told herself that dependency wasn't a healthy trait to have with something or someone. "So, the instructor isn't ... here yet?" Cerese asks, trying to change the subject, but all she's met with is a shrug of a kid's shoulders. Looks like she should grab a seat and wait then.
It's been a few minutes when she settled in while she waited for the instructor. A lot of the kids around her whispering and commenting about the new kid in the room. But it was all easily ignored when she focused more on getting her guitar out, checking on it as if it was some fragile thing. It wasn't, it was fine, but she really didn't want to focus on whatever it was that the kids were saying about her probably.
Until on of the kids accidentally bump into her while playfighting with another the moment she got her guitar out. The hollowed and discord that escaped her instrument was loud enough to get the attention of the kids around her. Even with the apologies, Cerese could only thinking **this day could only get worse from here**.//They really need to clean this. There has been some grime from over the years, being both far too busy to actually deep clean the house and easily forgetful. You can really see the grime if you stood still and stare with the intensity of the sun (not that you should), but Cerese puts it to memory. She'll do it later, for now, is the door locked? When she steps closer, she touches the cool doorknob and fiddles with the locks, one click, two click, it looks like her mother remembered to lock both locks before leaving for work. Good.There's one... two... three... four sets of shoes lined up on the foyer tiles. Her siblings are probably somewhere in the house, doing... sibling things, Cerese could never keep up with the things those little devils did, some comment about an obscure game and watching some weird YouTube video and she checks out just as quick. So long as they weren't inappropriate and dangerous, Cerese couldn't care less about what they did. One set was missing, though, her mother must've left for work already. Did she remember to say her goodbyes to her? Damn.